We have had some fun over the past few weeks joking about the various news reports on Dads. As you recall, Newsweek told us we are making less, more unemployed, doing less at home and spending less time with the kids. Then there was the study that said that Dads primary job in the family is to fix toys and change batteries. And who could forget our friends at CNN doing a piece on Dad bloggers that started the whole debate on Do Dad Bloggers Suck?
Forget All that We Found 5 Dads Who REALLY SUCK!
I am sure we all feel like we could be better fathers at times. Perhaps we are not as patient with the kids as we should be. Maybe we could help our wives out more in certain situations. Sure, at times it can get depressing when we feel like we are not being the best Dads we could be.
Well, chin up Daddy – we are about to make you look like the Dad of the Year! Sometimes we just need a little perspective, after all, everything in life is relative. So, next time you are feeling down – feel proud about how much of a better job you are doing than these 5 disgusting loser Dads…
#1. Balloon Boy’s Dad
I think we all remember this clown. Richard Heene launches a balloon and tells the world his son is trapped in the balloon. His poor son is forced to hide in the attic while law enforcement spends hours and thousands of dollars trying to “rescue balloon boy”. The hoax is exposed when the poor kid is doing the morning shows, keeps throwing up and tells the world his Dad told him to hide and lie.
Did you know Balloon Boy’s Dad is back from prison and now selling a back scratcher online? Yes, apparently we all need to be rubbing up against trees to scratch our backs – like bears do. I can’t help but wonder if this idea is somehow tied to his time in jail… what he was rubbing up against in jail to get rid of that itch???
#2. Moron Drunk Dad Who Leaves Kid In Car Seat for 25 Hours
So a guy goes to a wedding party and gets hammered. He then leaves the party, wanders the streets and starts causing problems. When police approach him he spits on the cops and refuses to take a sobriety test. Here is the scary thing, we have not even gotten to the bad part of the story.
This moron drunk, unfortunately, is also a father. Guess who was at the wedding party with him? Yes, his 3 year old son. This guy strapped his kid in the car seat after leaving the wedding party, then went wandering the streets being a drunk loser. Apparently he was so drunk, he completely forgot he left his kid behind in the car seat – for 25 hours! In fact, he never remembered – a person passing by the garage saw the kid and called police!
#3. Dad Who Tried to Trade His Baby for Beer
Continuing on with the drunk Dads make bad Dads theme there is this insane story. A guy in Chicopee, MA pulls into a gas station and wants beer. Apparently, he REALLY WANTS BEER. He makes an employee an offer – you give me two tall boys and I’ll give you my 3 month old daughter who is in the car.
We are not making this up – read the story.
#4. Dad Who Leaves His Daughter In a Stolen Car
A Dad steals a car – this is the first problem with the particular Dad – he is a thief. Cops find out about this car thief Dad and start to chase him. Dad tries to outrun the cops on the freeway in CA, but he eventually sees he is going to get trapped, so he decides to ditch the car and run on foot. The problem? He leaves his 5 year old daughter behind inside the car. Check out the developing story on this loser.
#5. Father Forces Son to Eat and Choke on Poor Report Card
Less you think that being a sucky Dad is strictly a USA thing, we bring you this gem. Apparently a 12 year old kid in France gets a less than stellar report card. The Dad loses it and tells the kid he must eat the report card! The poor boy tries to eat it, but just can’t swallow it. The Dad then tries to push the report card down his son’s throat with his fingers. The boy starts to choke and the Dad, frustrated at his son’s lack of ability to eat his report card, hits the poor kid in the head. Read the bizarre story here.
Still Feeling Bad About Being Short With the Kids?
How did that group therapy work for you Dads? Sure, sometimes we beat ourselves up because we are a little short with the kids, but hard to feel like such a bad dad once you know about these REAL loser Dads!
Oh, and if any of the above 5 Dads are reading this post – Get Your Act Together, Stop Drinking, Take Anger Management Classes and Give Your Kids a Hug! You are giving us Dads a bad name!
Have Any Other Dads That Suck That Should Be on This List? Drop Us a Comment Below!