5 Dads That Prove That Some Dads Really Do Suck

by nessel on October 28, 2010

Some Dads Really Do Suck

We have had some fun over the past few weeks joking about the various news reports on Dads. As you recall, Newsweek told us we are making less, more unemployed, doing less at home and spending less time with the kids. Then there was the study that said that Dads primary job in the family is to fix toys and change batteries. And who could forget our friends at CNN doing a piece on Dad bloggers that started the whole debate on Do Dad Bloggers Suck?

Forget All that We Found 5 Dads Who REALLY SUCK!

I am sure we all feel like we could be better fathers at times.  Perhaps we are not as patient with the kids as we should be.  Maybe we could help our wives out more in certain situations.  Sure, at times it can get depressing when we feel like we are not being the best Dads we could be.

Well, chin up Daddy – we are about to make you look like the Dad of the Year! Sometimes we just need a little perspective, after all, everything in life is relative.  So, next time you are feeling down – feel proud about how much of a better job you are doing than these 5 disgusting loser Dads…


#1. Balloon Boy’s Dad

I think we all remember this clown.  Richard Heene launches a balloon and tells the world his son is trapped in the balloon.  His poor son is forced to hide in the attic while law enforcement spends hours and thousands of dollars trying to “rescue balloon boy”.  The hoax is exposed when the poor kid is doing the morning shows, keeps throwing up and tells the world his Dad told him to hide and lie.

Did you know Balloon Boy’s Dad is back from prison and now selling a back scratcher online?  Yes, apparently we all need to be rubbing up against trees to scratch our backs – like bears do.  I can’t help but wonder if this idea is somehow tied to his time in jail… what he was rubbing up against in jail to get rid of that itch???

#2. Moron Drunk Dad Who Leaves Kid In Car Seat for 25 Hours

So a guy goes to a wedding party and gets hammered.   He then leaves the party, wanders the streets and starts causing problems.  When police approach him he spits on the cops and refuses to take a sobriety test.   Here is the scary thing, we have not even gotten to the bad part of the story.

This moron drunk, unfortunately, is also a father.    Guess who was at the wedding party with him?  Yes, his 3 year old son. This guy strapped his kid in the car seat after leaving the wedding party, then went wandering the streets being a drunk loser.  Apparently he was so drunk, he completely forgot he left his kid behind in the car seat  – for 25 hours! In fact, he never remembered – a person passing by the garage saw the kid and called police!

Read the whole disturbing news story here.

#3. Dad Who Tried to Trade His Baby for Beer

Continuing on with the drunk Dads make bad Dads theme there is this insane story.  A guy in Chicopee, MA pulls into a gas station and wants beer.    Apparently, he REALLY WANTS BEER.  He makes an employee an offer – you give me two tall boys and I’ll give you my 3 month old daughter who is in the car.

We are not making this up – read the story.

#4. Dad Who Leaves His Daughter In a Stolen Car

A Dad steals a car – this is the first problem with the particular Dad – he is a thief.  Cops find out about this car thief Dad and start to chase him.  Dad tries to outrun the cops on the freeway in CA,  but he eventually sees he is going to get trapped, so he decides to ditch the car and run on foot.  The problem? He leaves his 5 year old daughter behind inside the car. Check out the developing story on this loser.

#5. Father Forces Son to Eat and Choke on Poor Report Card

Less you think that being a sucky Dad is strictly a USA thing, we bring you this gem.   Apparently a 12 year old kid in France gets a less than stellar report card.  The Dad loses it and tells the kid he must eat the report card!  The poor boy tries to eat it, but just can’t swallow it.  The Dad then tries to push the report card down his son’s throat with his fingers.  The boy starts to choke and the Dad, frustrated at his son’s lack of ability to eat his report card,  hits the poor kid in the head.   Read the bizarre story here.

Still Feeling Bad About Being Short With the Kids?

How did that group therapy work for you Dads?  Sure, sometimes we beat ourselves up because we are a little short with the kids, but hard to feel like such a bad dad once you know about these  REAL loser Dads!

Oh, and if any of the above 5 Dads are reading this post  – Get Your Act Together, Stop Drinking, Take Anger Management Classes and Give Your Kids a Hug! You are giving us Dads a bad name!

Have Any Other Dads That Suck That Should Be on This List?  Drop Us a Comment Below!

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  • Dad U
    • http://www.daddoes.com Dan Dad Does

      Thanks for the comments!

      Ah, jumping right to the top of the Bad Dads list. While there seems to be great debate on who was Adolf Hitler’s grandfather – some scholars do believe it was Leopold Frankenberger. I guess it can be debated if he was Adolf’s grandfather, but there is no debate that anyone, who had anything to do with Hitler goes right to the very top of any Bad Dads list!

    • http://www.daddoes.com Dan Dad Does

      Thanks for the comments!

      Ah, jumping right to the top of the Bad Dads list. While there seems to be great debate on who was Adolf Hitler’s grandfather – some scholars do believe it was Leopold Frankenberger. I guess it can be debated if he was Adolf’s grandfather, but there is no debate that anyone, who had anything to do with Hitler goes right to the very top of any Bad Dads list!

  • Anonymous

    Man, those are awful. I had only heard about a couple of them. Obviously Balloon boy’s dad was one of them, but the poor kid who was left in his car, and the one who had to swallow his report card.

    These dad’s need to kept within 1000 ft of any kid for the rest of thier lives. Morons.

    • http://www.daddoes.com Dan Dad Does

      Thanks for the comments.

      It is amazing to anyone who is a halfway human Dad – that other Dads could do these incredibly stupid things. If anyone ever needed more proof that drunkenness and taking caring of kids doesn’t mix – here it is!

  • http://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/ The JackB

    Balloon Boy is forever going to be immortalized as having a buffoon for a dad. Poor kid.

  • http://www.dadtastic.com DADtastic

    The world doesn’t need more kids that don’t have a dad, but these kids could actually benefit from it.

  • LostNTime

    I have a classic my Dad is an American, I found him when I was 23 and came to America to meet him, I was told to stay America to be with him and give up my job and home in UK, he tells me not to worry he will sort my green card out for me, I contact INS as my 6 month visa was running out and asked for an extension as my father had filed for my green card.

    I was told I could extend for another 6 months as long as I had a green card in process comes up to the end of the 2nd 6 months I say to my Dad hey what is happening with GC application I have had job offers and really need to start working I have run out of savings.

    My Dad a millionaire said o yeah I want you to learn a lesson in life that nothing is easy I decided not to sign for you lets see how you get on in life with out it, for the next 22 years he left me homeless struggling until finally without papers I became a successful investor.

    22 years later I still do not have a green card even though I have an American father and american grandparents and I just recently bailed my father who went bankrupt and lost everything out of some new credit card debt and stayed by his hospital bed every day/night for 7 weeks while he was dying from infected lungs signing consent forms and making sure he got the best care.

    He survived his near death came out three days later he called me a loser and a nothing in comparison how well he was doing at my age.

    I have since finally stopped wanting to have anything to do with him; I finally realized he sucks!  

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