Consumer Electronics Industry To Human Race, We Will Return You From the Brink of Death

CES 2015 Problem Solving

CES 2015 Problem Solving

I have watched enough episodes of Shark Tank and read my fair share of front covers of business books, therefore I know this to be true –

Good Products Solve Problems

I have also seen All The Presidents Men, twice, therefore in addition to being a business guru I am also a hard hitting investigative journalist.  Wearing my business guru and journalist two sided hat, I decided to hit the Consumer Electronics Show (CES 2015) floor in Las Vegas looking to discover the underlying problem that the thousands of gadgets on display were solving.

Follow The Products

I assumed that as CES shows off the crème of the crop in technology, all the thousands of products I saw were developed to solve a real problem.  If there is one thing I remember from not going to journalism school, it is to always assume when reporting.

Strangely, the 500 page CES Show Guide I was handed as I walked in failed to state the problems we all have that need solving.  So, I decided I needed to flip things around – document the benefits of the products I saw and with this list of solutions in hand, I could then deduce the problem that was being solved by these awesome products.  Let’s get to it…

List of Solutions…

Get Moving and Active

The going odds in Vegas for spitting and NOT hitting a company selling a health and fitness tracker is about 1 in 50,000.  But spitting is disgusting, so get that image out of your head.

What you do need to know is that there are trackers, in every shape and size, that all do basically the same thing – encourage/motivate/guilt induce us to get up and be active.  Solutions to being inactive and out of shape are endless.

Know What You Are Eating

Some day you will sit around the Holodeck and tell your robot enhanced kids about the dark ages.  Yes, that strange time, before the TellSpec, where you actually had to read food labels and ingredient lists to know what you were eating.

Of course TellSpec solves the problem of having to read food labels, simply point it at your food and it tells you the ingredients and calories in the sorry excuse you have concocted for dinner.

Stand Up Straight

Products like the Lump Lift attach to your back and give you a vibration every time you slouch.  The perfect solution to behaving like a spineless jellyfish.

Learn To Breathe

The O2Chair by Innovzen teaches people how to breathe.  The ideal solution to those that…don’t breathe.

Auto Loosen Your Belt When You Get Fat

Always good to have redundancy when providing problem solving products.  In case the Health and Fitness trackers don’t get you off the couch and moving, the Belty is your solution….a belt that auto expands as you get fatter.

Stop Using Our Brains

It’s 2015 and we are still using our brain to remember where we put our keys, the car and the baby?  That’s just crazy.  And what’s with trying to remember when to take our meds, or pick up the kids or buy milk?

The Internet of Things offers little trackers that beep and buzz when we lose and forget things.  Everything is connected and always on.  The solution to using our brain to function is finally here!

Holy Crap, I Just Figured Out The Problem…

A quick scan of the above solutions seems to indicate the problem that the consumer electronics industry has been kind enough to solve…

We are inactive, slouching creatures, unable to read, remember or process any information.  Hell, we don’t even know how to breathe.  Oh, and we are getting fatter.

As far as I can tell, we are just steps above an amoeba at this point.  We are like Zombies, but at least Zombies get around and don’t forget where they put their keys or kids.

I have no idea how I am even writing this, I can only assume various gadgets were inserted into my body when I passed out for a few moments at CES after tripping over a robot that was watching a 4K TV.

More CES Coverage to come, but for now let’s all pause to thank the Consumer Electronics industry for saving us from our pathetic lives.

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